Entry #5: I Don’t Care

There was a time in my teenage years when I got to see the world really offers. I am not someone who has everything in her plate and just take a bite whenever I want. I am a just a girl who wants to live a life worth living for. The world is unfair, so are we. We can’t please everybody, we can’t get everything we want even we deserve it, everything in this world that we are living are all temporary. So why did I say we are also unfair? Simply because we can’t accept the fact that we can’t do everything, we also do not give everything even though we can. Why? Because we choose not to, we will make an excuse that we gave our all in that something and then they can just get it because they want to? That is why we don’t let them even we can, right?

We are all people. We make mistakes. We are not perfect. In some situations we can think of a way to solve the problem that we are facing. But there will always be the dark days where even we searched so hard, we can’t see how to end it. In those points, we choose the path where we end literally everything. Come to think of it, I am perfectly healthy inside and out. But then I still thought of that, I mean I have been through the darkest still I made it. I am not saying this to brag that I been through that, so why you can’t? I am not saying this to prove myself, to make name fragrant. I am saying this because you can do it too. How do I know? How am I sure? How can say this? Who am I? I don’t know you, you don’t know me. We are basically new to each other however, after all the circumstances if no one believes in you, if no one believes in you capabilities. Then lucky you, cause I believe in you. I don’t care if you are the worst person in the world, I don’t care if you are the loneliest person in the world. What I do care is you are still a person. You are breathing, you gave an heartbeat, you live, you are living. Well, you can say that you are alive, but you are not living or dead inside. I don’t care. I don’t care.

Stress, Depress, Anxiety and so on. These things make us feel worthless, hopeless, but these things also make us alive. Why? Cause it makes us feel something, it may be bad but if you look into it. It may be a beautiful disaster that came into our life. It may fade, it may be forgotten for some time but it doesn’t matter if it will come back. Since if those will come back at you, you already know how to defeat them. You will be able to fight for it, you overcome it. Still unfair? No, all of us can be one of those real quick, but the sad part is I hope you won’t be the source of those to others. You can do it, persevere. Fight for it, make yourself alive. Make your life, worth living.